ASIAN PACIFIC GAYS & FRIENDS
Code of Conduct

By joining APGF, the member agrees to abide by this Code of Conduct.

I. Expected Behavior

Members of Asian Pacific Gays and Friends (APGF) must follow and embody the following Code of Conduct based on respect, inclusion,openness, equity, support and adherence to APGF’s mission as a cultural and social support for gay Asians and their supportive friends.Members are to participate in authentic and active ways. In doing so, members contribute to the health and longevity of APGF. Therefore, adherence to the following conduct is mandatory:

a. Use gender-inclusive language.
b. Avoid language which devalues people, especially those with disabilities.
c. Refrain from demeaning, discriminatory, or harassing behavior and speech.
d. When attempting any physical contact with a fellow member, the approaching member must obtain permission from the member being approached and shall take “NO” to mean no. Any further attempt at physical contact after receiving “NO” is harassment and will not be tolerated.
e. Avoid making assumptions about pronouns, gender, or sexual orientation.
f. Avoid making assumptions about what technical/professional knowledge someone does or does not possess.
g. Before sharing anything posted in the community elsewhere, ask the original poster for their consent. When asking consent, confirm whether they are comfortable having content attributed to them or if they prefer you anonymize it.
h. Look out for other participants. Alert APGF officers if you notice violations of this Code of Conduct, even if they seem inconsequential.
i. Refrain from using APGF as a dating site.

II. Privacy

Respecting each other’s privacy is essential to a healthy, trusting community. Therefore, the following conduct is mandatory:

a. Please keep what’s said in APGF confidential.
b. Don’t repeat or quote things said at APGF without the affirmative consent of the speaker(s).
c. Do not identify others as members of APGF without their consent, as this may be a form of outing.
d. Be aware that unsolicited direct messages may be perceived as an invasion of privacy, especially if you have not previously interacted with members in public spaces. Obtain consent in a public channel to direct message someone before doing so.

Please be mindful that things you say here may at some point become public. We cannot prevent people from capturing images or otherwise logging in to obtain online information. We also cannot guarantee that every member’s login credentials and logged-in devices are secure. Files uploaded here can be downloaded by anyone with a login. Please exercise caution and refrain from sharing sensitive information that could harm you or others if it becomes public. Use cellphone editing tools to blur out faces of members you know to be in the closet.

III. Unacceptable Behavior

Unacceptable behaviors include: intimidating, harassing, abusive, discriminatory, intentional misgendering, derogatory or demeaning speech or actions by any participant in our community online, whether in public channels or private messages, as well as in interactions between community members on other platforms or offline. The following conduct is therefore prohibited:

A. Harmful or prejudicial verbal or written comments related to gender, gender identity and expression, sexual orientation, disability, mental illness, neuro(a)typicality, physical appearance, body size, age, race, national origin, ethnic origin, nationality, immigration status, language, religion or lack thereof, or other identity marker.
B. Sending direct solicitation for money or other types of support to members.
C. Spamming channels with frequent self-promotional content. The community is here to support each other, but please avoid repeatedly posting the same thing or overwhelming channels with your content.
D. Questioning or challenging someone’s stated self-identity or chosen labels, even if they conflict with your own views. (For example, discussions about bi vs. pan, trans vs trans*, or whether grey/demisexual people are asexual, even if well-intentioned.)
E. Making general statements about groups you do not belong to.
F. Unwelcome comments regarding a person’s lifestyle choices and practices, including those related to food, health, parenting, relationships, drugs, political affiliations and employment.
G. Trolling, i.e. sustained disruption of conversations, talks or other events.
H. Non-consensual photography or recording at in-person events.
I. Gratuitous or off-topic sexual images, language, or behavior in spaces where they’re not appropriate.
J. Deliberate intimidation, stalking or following.
K. Non-consensual physical contact and/or unwelcome sexual attention. “NO” means no!
L. Microaggressions, i.e. small, subtle, often subconscious actions that marginalize people from oppressed groups.
M. Minimizing other people’s experiences.
N. Inciting violence towards any individual, including encouraging a person to commit suicide or to engage in self-harm.
O. Deliberate “outing” of any aspect of a person’s identity without their consent except as necessary to protect vulnerable people from intentional abuse.
P. Publication of non-harassing private communication.
Q. Advocating for members to be banned, except in direct messages, or private discussion with the officers of APGF.

IV. Consequences of Unacceptable Behavior

Unacceptable behavior from any APGF member, including sponsors and those with decision-making authority, will not be tolerated. Anyone asked to stop unacceptable behavior is expected to stop immediately.

If an APGF member, sponsor or those with decision-making authority engages in unacceptable behavior, the APGF Board may take any action it deems appropriate, up to and including a temporary ban or permanent expulsion from APGF without warning (and without refund in the case of a paid event). The APGF Board may choose to identify violators of our policies against abuse and harassment as a harasser to other APGF members.

If you feel you have been falsely or unfairly accused of violating this Code of Conduct, you should notify one of APGF’s Board Members directly with a concise description of your grievance. Your grievance will be handled in accordance with our existing governing policies and privacy.

V. Complaint Procedures

If you see a Code of Conduct violation, follow these steps:

a. Let the person know that what they did is not appropriate and ask them to stop and/or edit their message(s).
b. Ask the person to immediately stop their behavior and correct the issue.
c. If this doesn’t happen, or if you’re uncomfortable speaking up, contact the APGF Board.
d. As soon as available, a Board Officer will join, identify themselves, and take further action (see below), starting with a warning, then temporary deactivation, then long-term deactivation.
e. When reporting, please include any relevant details, links, screenshots, context, or other information that may be used to better understand and resolve the situation.
f. The Board will Prioritize the well-being and comfort of those affected negatively by the violation over the comfort of the violator.

If you are being harassed by a member of APGF, or notice that someone else is being harassed, or have any other concerns, please contact an APGF Board officer immediately

This code of conduct applies to APGF members, whether the violating conduct occurs during an APGF event or not. We will respect confidentiality requests for the purpose of protecting victims of abuse. We will not name harassment victims without their affirmative consent.

November 8, 2023

The Code Of Conduct can be downloaded in PDF format (Adobe Reader Required). Click on the link below to download your copy.